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You ask whether this kind of relationship is possible for women. Are you likely to get too emotionally involved, or is he? Emotions are tricky, and the best way to deal with whatever comes up is to communicate clearly before you get involved, during the involvement and afterwards if either of you needs to end it.

Here’s how it worked for a friend of mine who grieved deeply after the death of her husband before feeling she was ready for sex and warmth, but not a committed relationship.

Both were worried at first that if the sex didn’t work out, their friendship could be damaged, but they agreed that as long as they kept communicating honestly, they’d be able to preserve it. During that time they were friends first and foremost, and sexual partners as an added bonus.

The “benefits” part of their relationship ended when they both felt it had played itself out and they were ready to move on, but they remain friends. Be clear with yourself and with any potential sex partners about what you’re signing on for.

Of course, whether you’re considering FWB or NSA (or any new sexual relationship, in fact), both of you should be recently and regularly tested for STIs, including HIV, and safer sex should always be a non-negotiable item in your agreement.

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