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Because when I gave a presentation at the Afghan American Conference at UC Berkeley this year, the part of my speech that got a round of applause (albeit, a surprise to me), was when I stated: “We are spreading a false narrative to our men that a perfectly modest Afghan woman will be waiting for them as soon as they’re done messing around.” The question is, why are Afghan guys expecting a modest Afghan girl when they aren’t modest themselves?
This unequal treatment of the genders stems from how our families raise us. All the boy cousins openly date and bring their non-Afghan girlfriends to every family function.
Either Bilal and Meena can both bring their boo’s, or no boo’s allowed at all. Dating an Afghan man is like signing your life away. Because our community does not raise those loving, supportive, and respectful men I mentioned. So I’ma take a seat in the single-girls section until I meet a man of color that isn’t a hypocrite.
The community often looks at those who marry outside the race with disapproving frowns. The risks, the drama, the perception by the community is social suicide. And there are some sisters who get respect, but more often than not, they are only respected if they fit the definition of a pious Afghan, Muslim girl.
An Afghan girl with an active dating life is bad news; who wants used goods?